A Dog’s New Year’s Resolutions

This year, I’ve decided it’s time to step up my game as the goodest dog ever. My humans do so much for me—like letting me borrow their shoes as chew toys and dutifully cleaning up my poop in tiny bags. And how do I repay them? By hogging the bed and sneaking drinks from the toilet. They’re not fans of those habits. So, I’ve been inspired by their annual tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Why shouldn’t I try to improve, too?

Here’s my plan to make 2024 my best year yet:

1. No More Scooting on the Carpet

Let’s face it, dragging my butt across the rug isn’t exactly glamorous. But it’s not just for fun—it’s often about relief. If my anal glands are uncomfortable, scooting helps. And sometimes allergies or parasites make things worse back there. If I’m going to ditch this habit, my humans will need to make sure I’m healthy and everything is in working order. After all, happy glands mean a happy dog.

2. Greet Guests Politely by Sitting

When someone visits, I can’t resist jumping up to say hello. I love face-to-face greetings, but apparently, not everyone enjoys my enthusiasm (or my slobbery kisses). Sitting to greet people feels weird, but if my humans reward me with treats and pats, I think I could make it work. Plus, if they notice me while I’m sitting, I won’t need to leap for attention.

3. No More Public Humping

This one always makes my humans blush. They think humping is embarrassing, but for me, it’s just another way to burn off energy or show who’s boss. Whether it’s another dog, a visitor’s leg, or a pillow, humping happens when I’m overstimulated. This year, I’ll work on redirecting that energy into more appropriate activities—assuming my humans step in to guide me with rewards for better behavior.

4. Walk Nicely Without Pulling

People walk so slowly—it’s like they don’t even notice all the amazing smells around us! Naturally, I pull on the leash to speed things up, but that only seems to frustrate my humans. Maybe if they used a no-pull harness, I’d find it easier to stay by their side. If they start rewarding me for walking nicely, I’ll consider slowing down.

5. Sniff Hands Instead of Crotches

Dogs like me greet others by sniffing their behinds—it’s how we gather important information. So, when I sniff a human’s crotch, I’m just being polite! But it seems this isn’t socially acceptable among people. Fine, I’ll compromise. If they offer me their hand to sniff, I can gather enough info to satisfy my curiosity.

6. Come When Called

Why should I come running when my humans call? Usually, it means I have to stop something fun, like chasing a squirrel or rolling in mud. But if they turn recalls into a game with treats or toys, I might change my mind. Tug-of-war or tasty rewards would make it worth my while. Now, how do I train them to make this deal?

7. Drink From My Bowl, Not the Toilet

The toilet offers cold, refreshing water—what’s not to love? My humans don’t seem to appreciate my choice, though. Maybe if they cleaned and refilled my water bowl more often, I’d skip the porcelain option. Even better, if I had a fancy water fountain with fresh, flowing water, the toilet might lose its appeal entirely.

8. Stop Hogging the Bed

Who wouldn’t prefer a soft, warm human bed over a cold floor? Sharing a bed with my humans is my favorite luxury, but they claim I take up too much space. (Rude!) I could consider using a dog bed—if it’s super cozy and placed close to them. That way, I can still protect them and enjoy a bit of comfort myself.

Looking back, that’s a lot of changes to make. Giving up some of my quirks feels like losing part of what makes me, well, me. Maybe I don’t need to change everything—after all, my humans love me just as I am.

So, here’s to a new year of being myself: jumping, sniffing, and enjoying life to the fullest. Now if you’ll excuse me, I hear the toilet calling—it’s time to celebrate!

At Joyride Harness, we know that being a dog parent is full of surprises—some cuter than others. Our blog is here to give you all the tips and tricks you need, from handling stinky ears to choosing the right gear for your daily walks. We’re here to make sure both you and your dog are happy, healthy, and ready for all of life’s adventures!

Source: American Kennel Club